This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
