Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
