the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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