I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
