so explain again why im purple
no
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
