he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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