why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
