On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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