It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize