cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
