Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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