I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
