some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
