The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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