I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We need to get me chipped asap
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
