I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
