He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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