I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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