I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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