I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize