Apparently you make a good broom.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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