even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
