never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
