I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
