The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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