if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
