I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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