your parents love me but you hate me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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