Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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