Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
