Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My balls are so social today.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
