Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
