i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
