Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize