NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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