best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize