Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
