He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
