Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
