the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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