I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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