Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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