When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
