problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
