I'm going to jail i love you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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