We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
