Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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