3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
