I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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