i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize