rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
