I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
