I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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