While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
