I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Text me some of your sweat
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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