How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
