I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
