Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
