I am in a vortex of obligation.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
