But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
