I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
