Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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