hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
