How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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