shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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