I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
